The Antidote

I am very grateful for the supportive people in my life who help and support me when times get rough. Early this morning and last night ll I wanted to do was run away from the constant demands on me. I wanted to end this cycle and get far, far away from it. I wanted to be done, but that doesn't allow me to grow and practice the skills I need to be able to be the me that I want to be.

Somehow it always comes back to good self care. I need that above all else. I need to make the decisions in the moment that honor myself and my life. I am grateful to my coach who helped me come up with the following daily questions to ask myself to help keep me on track.

1. Are you rested? If not, what are you going to do about it?
NO!! Go home and take a nap and maybe go to a movie.

2. What are your expectations for the day? Are they realistic?
Rest! Yes, now that I decided to rest and make getting emotional stable my expectation.

3. What are you going to say no to?
Guest teaching next Wednesday in the summer institute.

So here I go, stepping a toe into a new world where I put my needs first above all else and take the steps to be the person I want to be. I would be lying if I didn't say I feel scared to death -- scared their will be bad consequences, mountains of things undone, people being upset or mad at me. I wish it wasn't so hard. Yet I also feel a small glimmer of hope that there is another side to this.

I can do this. I will do this. I am doing this.